


Something Missed, But Not Lost

by playingwiththefates



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Childhood Friends, College, First Love, Jean is reluctantly studying law, M/M, Rating will change, awkward moments with trying to get to know eachother, jean is jean, marco is a space case, med student Marco, precious dorks, sexy times ahead, this is going to be a rollercoaster
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-01-04
Updated: 2015-01-04
Packaged: 2018-03-05 07:47:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,770
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3111845
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/playingwiththefates/pseuds/playingwiththefates
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Separated at the worst time, but reunited at the best time. Childhood friends and first loves, Jean and Marco have been separated by time and a situation- but that's not enough to keep them apart. Fate works in strange ways, and Marco is learning that it might not be such a bad thing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Something Missed, But Not Lost

Do not be afraid; our fate  
Cannot be taken from us; it is a gift.”  
― Dante Alighieri, Inferno

 

Like most people, I look back on my childhood as being bittersweet and I have found that as time passes by, I forget things. History rewrites itself into something it probably wasn’t, and maybe into something foreign as well. As I am, I’m already a pretty forgetful person, so bear with me as I remember these things.  
I was born knowing Jean Kirstein, as cheesy as it sounds, we spent time together even before we were born....

I guess before I continue I need to tell you more about our parents.

 

My parents, Mauricio and Maria Bodt were friends with Elias and Elise Kirstein for many years, our fathers attending the same college, going to work at the same place and even meeting our mothers at the very same party. The funny thing about that, our fathers were constantly competing with each other, it was a love-hate kind of thing.  
Our mothers were actually roommates, another coincidence; but like I said, I don’t believe in coincidences. As you can tell, my meeting Jean could only have happened because of these meetings. My father meeting my mother, and his father meeting his mother.

It’s amazing, and just the same, I wouldn’t have lost Jean if it weren’t for another meeting, but I’ll tell you about that later.

It seems there are a lot of things in going to have to tell you.  
...

My head throbbed as I read through my notes, the already confusing information becoming more and more unreadable as time went by. With a deep breath, I leaned back in my chair and closed my eyes, trying to will away the pain.  
Vocabulary, diagrams and topics filled my head, making relaxing so much more difficult. I hadn’t thought I had memorized so much, but I have to say, I am glad I did; but even still. The problem of my headache was still very much a problem.  
Once the pain ebbed away, I opened my eyes and reached into my pocket to pull out my phone. I was surprised to see it was only Midnight, It wasn’t as late as I originally thought it was. Just as I put my phone away, my stomach growled loudly.  
I knew better than to try studying again with my focus shot. So, I stood up from my chair in defeat. I groaned once I put pressure on my legs, a painful numbness spreading through my left.

Lack of blood flow.  
Or atherosclerosis. 

No definitely not that. 

Lack of blood flow. 

Easy, simple. Don't over think things.

Once the strange feeling went away, I stumbled into my small kitchen and began to search for food. I looked in my small fridge first and was disappointed to find it empty. I looked in my pantry next, also finding that empty.  
How could there be absolutely no food at all? I stood staring into my pantry in disbelief. Oh. That's right. I haven't gone grocery shopping in two weeks. And, the last time I ate was three days ago when my mom last came to visit me. My stomach growled again, if possible, even louder than the first time.

Food. I need food.

With my mind made up, I quickly changed my clothes and splashed some water on my face. The nearby grocery store should still be open.  
The cool night air felt nice. Although it hadn't been too long since I went out, it felt liberating in a way.

Well, at least It was better than being locked up in my room studying.

I seem to forget that. Often.

As I walked on the sidewalk, people laughing and talking moved past me and I suddenly became very aware of the fact I hadn't spoken to my own friends in a while.

I missed them.

It really was easy to forget about even the most important things when you throw yourself into something, and my something was studying.

It didn’t take long to reach the store, the moment I walked in I was greeted by a huge gust of cold air that caused me to shiver from head to toe. Once I got used to the cold, I grabbed a basket from nearby and began to load up on groceries with my list in hand.

The cheesy 80's and peppy pop filled the store, clearly some part-timer having a lot of fun playing DJ. 

As I roamed the aisles grabbing what I needed, I swore I could have seen a flash of Mousey Brown and Dirty Blond. That was ridiculous though, why would he be here? He was probably somewhere far abroad studying at a private school...I was hallucinating, from stress probably.

I hadn't seen- or really thought of him in years. And yet, I still found myself looking as I went through all the aisles. 

I kept telling myself I was looking for this ingredient I couldn't remember, so that why I was looking as diligently as I was. I wasn't looking for him. I was trying to find whatever it was I needed.

Not him- or rather, if I happened to stumble across him I....

There are some things that no matter how much time may pass, or other memories may take up space- you can’t forget. It might be something so small that it surprises you that remember, or something so big that you know can’t and won’t forget, and other times, it is something so random that you don’t even understand how you came to know that memory in the first place. 

This was not a little thing, it was one of those big things.

 

Basier pepite. Fuck Nugget.

There is only one person I have ever known and loved that used- uses, that particular curse, and with so much passion. I had been going past an aisle when I heard it, then I saw him.

Jean.

Before I had a chance to think, I stopped and spoke out to him. I could have said a thousand better- wittier, and more sentimental things, and all I said was “Long time no see.”  
I blame hunger, sleep deprivation and myself, mostly. And it seemed he thought the same thing.

“I haven’t seen you in ten years and all you can say is “long time no see?" Ten fucking years. No phone calls, no emails. Not even a shitty letter!”

I backed up the outburst, and he just continued towards me with a rage in his eyes that I just was going to end up with my getting decked. I held up my hands in what I hoped was a peaceful gesture, trying to calm him before he made a scene.

"Jean I-"

He quickly cut me off with a stream of curses and completely closed the distance between us...with a hug.  
"Long time no see, bête. I missed you, you little shit." He mumbled crankily into my shoulder, hugging me tightly. I relaxed knowing I wasn't going to get hit, and hugged him back with a laugh I didn't know I had. "You haven't changed at all, Jean."

Even after all the time that has passed, he still felt so familiar. It surprised me, and I wasn’t really sure what to say or even do- so I just held him. We stayed like that for a few seconds, until he suddenly pushed me away and wiped his eyes, clearly frustrated. It didn’t take him long to regain his composure, and his anger returned quickly. With the way he was glaring at me, I half wished he would just punch me to get it over with. Jean crossed his arms over his chest and said nothing…he just stared at me- which is how I knew I was really in trouble. 

“I’m still pissed Bodt. 10 years. What the hell were you thinking, what the hell were you doing? Do you have any idea how long I…” 

I knew it was stupid, but as he stood before me yelling at me, I remembered just how much I loved him. I also realized just how much I really had missed him. My best friend, my first love. As I thought this, my feelings just became even more jumbled up to the point where I was left at a loss (even more then usual, which was saying something). I was quickly brought out of my head by a hard punch to my jaw, which was probably going to leave a nasty bruise- and my attention refocused on him again. If the punch didn’t get his message across, his next words did. 

“ You know what, fuck you. I waited for you, every day for three years. Three fucking years, and I heard nothing from you.” 

Once I got over the shock of being hit, Jean’s words finally registered- albeit a little late. He was already starting to walk away, and all I could think was that I couldn’t lose him again. I acted quickly and grabbed his arm before I could think better of it.

“ Wait! Please. I’m sorry, but I don’t understand Jean- what do you mean you waited? You moved, you didn’t even say goodbye to me. I tried calling you, I tried emailing you…I had to hear from Eren that you moved!”

He visibly froze, and for a second I wondered if he was going to punch me again…when he turned to face me I was surprised to not see him angry or ready to strike, but to look so confused and hurt.

I couldn’t help but feel that seeing him look like that hurt me so much more than when he punched me or yelled at me.

My mom always says I have a tendency to hurt people without knowing it, that I spend so much time in my head that I forget how to talk with normal people. Jean had always been the one person that made me impulsive (he brings out both the good and bad in me- I know that now. But that’s another story, later-maybe.), and right now I knew I was acting on instinct first with thought last.

I didn’t know what was going on, but I did know I needed to figure it out. I wanted to understand what happened between us, and I wanted to understand Jean.

Things hadn’t changed, not at all.

It both scared, and comforted me.

 

I took a deep breath and loosened my grip on his arm, my head a little clearer. 

“Do you want to get some coffee?

**Author's Note:**

> Please comment and give kudos! Next Chapter will be up very soon!


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